Potty Training Time

I tried potty training Edward when he was 8 months old, and he was doing great until he decided he didn't want to participate anymore.  Fast forward almost 1.5 years later and we were there again, he showed interest but now more verbal, he told me "mommy no more diaper". Of course I couldn't believe it. But sure enough he was ready. In a week, with lots of laundry to wash, Edward is potty trained.

When having two kids under two, there are already plenty of things I tote around. Adding spare clothing and the immediate need to dash to the potty was something I just didn't want to face. But in light of all that, it's really not to bad. In fact, it's a relief to not have to change 2 kids' diapers. Initially, I brought along his potty, which is way to much stuff. Now if really needs to go, he waters the tree.

However, I am grateful for waiting until he was ready. There are many horror stories out there about potty training and I'm happy to have not had to go through to any. I also couldn't have done it without the moral support of friends and family, particularly my friend Lana who shared lots of advice. All the great advice helped. This is a wonderful milestone in Edward's life, albeit a small one. My little boy is growing and it feels like it's going way to fast!

Although we have the occasional accident, he only wears a diaper at night and by morning it is dry. I think it's the coolest thing ever. How can he have gone from only using a diaper to no diaper at all!

Some tips that helped:

Try to stay home for the first few days.
Keep the potty in plain sight.
Have the child in underwear or none
Encourage the child to tell you, but reminding them is always helpful
Never scold the child, I don't think that's helpful at all.
Roll up your carpets, we were having our carpets cleaned during that week which made cleaning up much easier.

Juggling with Two

It's been way to long since I've been here. Sometimes I feel like my blog is my 3rd child and sadly getting the least amount of attention, as many 3rd and subsequent kids do ( I say this with love as I am the eldest of 3 girls).

Two kids 2 years apart is exciting, fiery, fun, exhausting! There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done and I felt the same way with one. So what was I doing differently then than I am now? First off, my second doesn't seem to be as needy as my first. Maybe it's her way of knowing where she fits into her world as a second? Maybe I just have less time for her and she's figured that out or is it her temperament. She is a lifesaver. She plays on her own, totally entertaining herself almost all the time. She is really and truly a special and very happy child. It's a nice change from her brother, who is now 3, and although so much easier than the last 2 years is still very much challenging. He is spirited, always making his presence known, so funny and happy in his own ways.

Since I stay at home, I don't get much mommy down time.  But now that my baby is 14 months, she and her brother are napping on the same scheduled, alleluia! Having an extra 2 hours in my day is overwhelming, what do I do with it? Most days, I spend them cleaning, organizing, eating and less frequently then before napping. The latter has to do with the fact that Eloise is almost done teething, so our long nights of waking have almost ceased. Although trying to get Edward out of our bed and into his is still proving to be a challenge. We recently brought his twin bed in our room, but he won't sleep without one of us laying next to him and every night he walks a few steps from his bed to ours, "mommy can I sleep with you?" Who would say no to that sweet face? So yes, of course I have everything to do with the fact he still sleeps in our bed, we complain just a little, but we love it A Lot!

After Eloise turned 6 months, life seemed more manageable.  Both kids were really interacting and having fun together. Now that she is 14 months, the two of them crack me up.  They have such a dynamic and stereotypical relationship; older bossy brother, younger bossy sister. It's a hoot to watch these two go at it.  There are times when he yells louder than her and she'll throw whatever he wants out of her hand and run the opposite direction. (If I get it on video, I'll post)

They are most at odds in the car.  She is still rear facing and in the middle and he is right next to her. And whatever he plays with she wants and vice versa. Then the hitting starts, he hits her and she laughs, but she hits him and the tears start flowing.

It's moments like that, when I'm in the present and listening to them "yell" at each other that makes every late night, every gray hair, every hard day totally worth it.  They are the sunshine in my life. I am just so darn lucky. Eureka!

What moments do you most cherish with your littles?

Love lots,
Mommy SF

Mind your manners

We frequent the playground way to often, sometimes twice a day. And it never fails, every time we are there there's always, I mean always a mom micromanaging their kid. "Don't do this, don't do that" "go up the ladder and down the slide" "stop yelling, slow down" "let the little boy go first" "share your toys or we'll go home" and on and on.

Enough is enough mamas. If kids can't be kids at the playground then where can they let loose and be free? I bring Edward to the playground to run around, be free and to have fun. He's got so much energy that we would go bonkers if we stayed home. It's also a great opportunity for him to learn how to deal with other kids. If I am constantly telling him how to play, then how will he learn to do it his way? He's a small person with feelings and there's only so much teaching a parent can do, learning through playing is equally important.

Don't get me wrong, if a child is hurting, teasing or bullying another kid, there's NO place for that at the playground or anywhere else. I'm referring to the daily interactions of kids at the playground.

So why can't these mamas let go? Do they want to be in charge of their child's every move? Or do they feel judged, that their child's actions reflects their parenting?

Whatever it is, I'm just tired of it. I feel so bad for these kids, really I do. Because one day these littles will be bigs and mom won't be around, so will they know how to act? Will they know what to do? Are we still hand-holding our children to become these needy and whiny adults? I hope not.

What are your thoughts? What kind of playground parent are you?

Love lots,
Mommy SF

Edward and one of his besties, taking a popcorn break

She's on the way back!

Dear friends,

The last 6 months has been a fun ride. Baby Eloise Helana Benjamin arrived on January 24, 2013 @7:40pm. She has brought so much love, life and laughter into our lives. She is an amazing addition to our family, we are besides ourselves.

In light of having two, two years apart, our days move faster then time and "me" doesn't seem to exist much. By no means am I complaining, I'm just letting you know that I am dedicated to this blog and will do my best in the next few months to lay it all out.

Many mothers of multiples have told me that after 6months, "things will get easier" and it is very true. We have a rhythm and understanding of everyones' needs and are adjusting accordingly.

I have so much to share and am very excited, I hope you are too!

Stay tuned!

Love lots,
Mommy SF

Where Did She Go?

Once a week for the last month, I've sat in front of my computer to blog and all I can do is stare at the blank white space. I've lost my groove, my mojo. There used to be many nights when I would be falling asleep and the ideas would come, not one or two but plenty.  Sure I didn't act on them, even though I have paper and pen sitting in the drawer of my night stand. But usually when I woke up the next day I would remember at least one idea and would either blog about it or be inspired by it for a fun activity with Edward.  So maybe this lull is my fault? When the ideas came knocking and I didn't answer, they decided to go away. Or could it be my hormones keeping me awake at all hours of the night, which then don't allow me fully get to sleep or for that matter allow me the clarity I once had when I would place my head on my pillow.

So instead of worrying about being out of touch with my blog, I decided to come here in the hopes that typing out my frustration will reconnect the old and present day me. That I will once again find my way back to the slew of ideas I once became so accustomed to. I don't want to overanalyze, but I wonder if as baby #2 slow makes its way into our world, that I'm on a path of slowly disconnecting from the old me who found so much love, inspiration and admiration in writing and reading and will be a mom that like so many (including my own) will dedicate all of my being to our growing family.

Will I be the woman who wakes up one day many years into the future to find my chicks have flown the coup and be starring through a mirror wondering, "Who is this lady" or will I maintain my individuality and be proud to have given my all to my family but yet saved a few hours of the day for me? It's so cliche' but only time will tell. And that time will be at least 17 years from today.  It will be interesting to come back and find this entry and reflect on what path I chose and how proud I will be of the choice I made.

Don't get me wrong, I love my 1.5 kids and will always be mommy first, it will always be my priority. But it frightens me to see so many mothers my mom's age who are so lonely after their children have grown and left the house to begin their journeys in life. Mothers who "sit" by the phone to await a phone call or continue their rolls of cooking and cleaning for their brute but to only realize it's only mom and dad now. Realistically, being mom to a child from birth until death could be over four decades, likely the longest job any one person can keep. But is it fair that when these small helpless beings enter the world they encompass so much of your life you have no choice but to give them your all? All so that when the time comes for them to move away, they can easily pack up and leave? Taking everything you as mom have ever been accustomed to over the last twenty years of their life with them? It's such a strange place to find oneself. Especially for me since my role as daughter has always been very independent, strong-willed and determined to do things on my own. I never really understood my mom's feelings until now. However, as a mom I try to use my experiences to embrace my son's very similar personality. I also hope unlike my mom I will maintain a balance in my life that will keep me fulfilled as a individual, wife and mother.

I think our society does such a beautiful job in helping parents-to-be in preparing for the arrival of their bundle of joy, but what if anything are we doing to help parents prepare for empty nest? I believe this is a conversation that should be started in the parenting classes and be continued throughout life.

Love Lots,
Mommy SF

Sock It to Me

We invested in a High Efficency(HE) washer and dryer a few months ago that we share with our dear neighbors, who have a 3 month old. A few weeks ago our washer wouldn't finish washing a load.  I thought it was a fluke and reset the load.  That wash ended successfully but the next proceeded to have another message "sud". I ignored this message and reset the wash for another complete load. There were no leaks and the clothes were clean so i didnt think much of it.  

The laundry room is a shared commune area which happens to also be my husband's office when he works from home.  One afternoon while he was working from home, I threw in a load and while he never really notices much when it comes to laundry, he did notice the "sud" message. Leave it to a guy to get to the bottom of a problem. And after some online search results came up with "don't overload the wash", Paul knew there was something more. So there he was laid out on the floor checking and searching for the resolution. He finally decided to open the water hose and after an eruption of water flowed all over the floor (which he used our white expensive towels to clean up) also came several mismatched socks; mostly little ones but a few large ones too. Apparently, when the wash is set to high spin, the suction of the water draining is so strong that these little guys go too. Then yesterday while transferring the washed clothes into the dryer, his curious mind decides to lift back an elastic panel, which revealed even more socks.

As you can imagine after losing so many socks, my practice has been to fold together the dirty ones and put them in the hamper. It made life more sane until I was still missing socks. Never did I think my washer really ate our socks. But now that we know it does, what's the solution?Well Paul says put the dirty socks in a pillowcase or a lingerie bag and spin cycle on medium.

I've since done several loads of wash using the "sock bag" and have had great success on the return of socks as well as use of the medium cycle. Th clothes are damp and I haven't had to increase the dryer time.

Are you missing socks? Or have you figured out how your wash is eating up yours?

Love Lots,

Mommy SF

Family Vacations

As a new family of three the idea of traveling with our baby seemed foreign. After all, who wants to be the parent of that annoying and loud cry baby! So for the longest time we avoided flying especially because our child fit the mold of that travelling nightmare.  That is until our dear friends brought up the idea of a trip together to Maui. My husband and I lit up at the idea. Just two years before we vacationed there and it was paradise. We loved seeing so many single couples but noticed many multi-generational family members enjoying the pools, the ocean and all the fun Maui has to offer together. So we agreed this would be a fun family destination. We were booked and excited until our nerves reminded us who we would be travelling with. Yikes! So we researched online how to travel with kids, what to pack and what backup measures we would need to take if he got out of hand. I've got to send lots of kudos to Momaboard the site is filled with some wonderful travelling pointers from a high-flying mom. Also a shout-out to my very dear friend Lana (who we travelled with and whose daughter, two months younger than Edward, probably has enough air miles for a future flight), whom patiently responded to my delusional texts and calls.

The fact we booked our flight early in the am, before nap was so ideal. When we got to the chaotic airport, Edward was amused with the people, the planes and most of all the "truks". He got a lot of energy out by running through the terminal by the time we were boarding he looked ready to knock-out, we were so pleased. We scored big when we had an extra seat in between us for him. He fell asleep in his carrier once we were in flight. When he woke he was comfortable seating like a big boy, watching videos and munching on walnuts (it was all he wanted to eat, go figure). No crying at all.

Once we arrived in Maui, we gathered our things and waited for our friends to arrive from their destination, they got in about 30 minutes after us. Once we said our hellos and picked up the rental, we made a long pit stop at Costco before heading to our paradise destination.  We all were so excited to be together, the kids took time to warm up to each other but it wasn't long before they were drinking from each other's sippy cups and sharing meals from their bowls. It was adorable to watch them interact all day long and on a daily basis for 7 days.

Our awesome 2 bedroom condo with a wrap around lanai was amazing. We had pool and ocean views, which were thoroughly enjoyed while our babes napped. We were also right above the Coi pond, which the kids absolutely loved! They ran out there every morning and would hilarious fishy faces. Cooking was easy as the dads really took it upon themselves to get in lots of BBQ-ing practice. Practice makes perfect, as we enjoyed some amazing meals.  Yay for dads!

The days were long as the kiddos never adjusted to Maui time and were putzing around asking for food around 5:00am. But they made up for it by taking long naps and getting to bed by 7:30pm.

About halfway through our trip, Lana and I started talking about how wonderful it's been and how we both wished we could stay longer; at that moment we both realized how lucky we are to be on vacation together with kids and hubby's that get along. It was such a treat and something we will absolutely do again.

When it was time to head home we were all very somber. We packed our things and checked-in to our  flights. When we all arrived at the airport we had a lot of time for running around, but I think Edward was just to wound up. Poor thing could not get comfortable nor could he relax on the flight.  He was so exhausted and we were so frustrated that we finally began walking him up/down the aisles in the carrier. It worked as he finally fell asleep.

Once we landed and got home, we quickly unpacked and got settled. The next morning when Edward woke up he looked sad, could he be missing his new friend? With his blanket in hand, he walked over to the window to only find the concrete pavement and parked cars.  I asked him what he was looking for and he looked at me and made the fish face! He broke my heart...he missed Maui too. But as in life nothing lasts forever and it's the experience that makes us who we are.  As an 18 month old, Edward is very lucky to have experienced such a lavish trip. I know trips like that for hubby and I weren't apart of our memory until we were many years older.  Nonetheless, we equally enjoyed it and would go back if we could.

Thank you for the memories!!!

Have you ever travelled with friends? Would you recommend it?

Love Lots,
Mommy SF