We're Expecting!

My last post was 3 months to the day. Amazing how time flies. Two weeks later we found we were expecting our second child. With great excitement and anticipation also came a very sick mama. The weeks following were very difficult and trying. After realizing caring for myself and my very active son was impossible, we packed up and went to stay with my parents- a great benefit since they live in the same state. Hubby had to stay back for work and being away from him was hard for us all. But thankfully for Skype and text messaging we felt like we were all together.

There was so much emotion that went on during those weeks away. While I did my best to care for myself, knowing my son was given the attention and love he needed was a relief. However as a mom, your sense of having to be in-charge and responsible lingers no matter how sick you are. It was also difficult to fight feeling guilty that I couldn't care for my son. I also felt lacking as a wife. There I lied watching tv, covered with blankets and pillows, falling in and out of sleep and my poor husband came home to an empty nest. It was clearly a disruptive time, but we all agree very necessary.

But now almost 6 weeks later it's all a fading memory. As I've recollected my first pregnancy in past posts I mention how quickly I forgot the rough patches of the first trimester, and here I am again, telling you just the same, even though this time around it was so much harder.

At my last appointment my Nurse Practitioner asked how things were going and I remember cocking my head and telling her that "I'm so busy with my first I don't have time to focus on this baby." she laughed and said she "hears that all the time." Which might be why so many people say the second is "so much easier". I don't know how easy it is ( actually it's been very hard). I'm finding I have little time to eat, keep hydrated or sleep; the complete opposite of the first pregnancy, when I monitored everything I ate, slept as often as I wanted and practiced yoga once a day.

However exhausting, at the end of the day we feel very blessed to have another special miracle become part of our lives. I can't imagine it getting any crazier than it all ready is! Let the fun begin...

Love Lots,
Mommy SF

ps I'm very happy to slowly reenter the blogging world.

Happy Mother's Day

Gosh it's already been a year since I celebrated my first Mother's Day, so much has changed but two things have remained the same; 1. I still love being a mom 2. I have the best family and friends in the world.

I know many of my blogs are filled with complaints, many of them dealing with the trauma and trials our son puts us through, but honestly at the end of the day, having him in our life brings us such joy! He's filled with joie de vivre and everyday teaches me how to live life. Chores, shopping, email or twitter shouldn't compete with our time together. He teaches me that the small things he can do mean so much. Just today, he saw a horse fly on the window screen, looked at it and said "bzzz"! I almost cried, he so darn smart. But in that moment, I realized my complaining is pointless and it comes from making other "things" more of a priority. It doesn't make me happier. It just drains me. So I pledge that I will reduce my complaining and spend more time experiencing life together with my guys. Laughing, smiling and being light hearted- those are my goals.

Secondly, since the birth of our bouncing boy, our family and friends have been a real treasure. It's amazing how much love surrounds us. He is so deeply loved my his nanas, babas, aunties, all 30 of them and uncles! Thank you to everyone who is making this Mother's Day (and really everyday) feel so special. I love you all and hope that I can equally give back the happiness and love you share with us.

Love Lots,
Mommy SF

It's Back...

It's laughable how the second time in Edward's 14 months of life he begins to sleep through the night to only be rudely awakened by his teething, causing mad late night havoc for us all. The restless nights and sometimes even hourly wakings are so hard to deal with. To add insult to injury, he's still up at 6:30 am without fail. As exhausted as I am it is my responsibility to be up with him and fulfill my duties to my young man. Although I don't always do it with a smile I am happy to oblige. He's now on the "I want the pacifier all day" kick, and cries until he gets it (he used to only use it during nap and bedtimes). We try to side track him with toys or books, but if he cries hard enough we give in.  We wonder how much of that is because of teething and how much of it is a power struggle.  So we stress over the dumb pacifier fight. He's also been a healthy eater but now seemingly picky, forgoing food he once loved for ice cubes and peanut butter and crackers. I've been told that teething takes about 2 years, so we have 9 more months.

I'm also going through a phase of my own. Maybe it's lack of sleep or a case of the baby blues, but where did my baby go? There are times when my independent toddler wants to be a big boy and then he "reverts" to being a baby. How do I balance this? How much do I give in to the baby's needs? Am I "spoiling" him by giving in? I know each child is different as is each scenario but what about consistency? I don't want to look back and wish I did it differently, after all I'm doing everything my parents didn't, right? Being in this for over a year, I thought I got this parenthood stuff down, but each phase throws me another curve ball and has me questioning everything I do all the time. It's so unrelenting and stressful. As I'm typing I'm thinking to myself, "am I taking parenting to seriously" could I really be over thinking it all? I bet I'll come back here a few years from now with an answer. Until then I'll ponder...

I really thought it would get easier as he got older and it isn't. So I find myself out of the house more often and earlier. We are always at the playground and used to get there after lunch but one early morning, when neither of us could take each other anymore, the playground was our mutually agreed upon choice for our peace treaty.  Although it was 8:30am and we were the first to arrive, it wasn't long before it was filled with other boys his age. I couldn't believe it, I'd never seen so many boys at the playground before. I asked the caretakers and mothers if this was common and they all agreed. So now we join the other boys bright and early on the playground for his morning exercise and where I finish my tea.

Maybe I should take
the advice of my mug

So readers, send me some good vibes to help us through this crazy stage and share your helpful tips of how to successfully plough through.

Love Lots,
Mommy SF

We took the crib down on Monday, which was bittersweet; bitter because we spent a lot for the crib and sweet that my baby is growing leaps and bounds. Honestly, this was a reality coming at us full steam over 3 months ago, we just tried avoiding it. Up until then our son loved the crib but once we began struggling to get him in it and fighting with him to stay, we knew the day had come and he was ready to transition out. But the advice from other moms was to keep him in the crib until he could climb out. The horror stories about their babes getting out of bed in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with them freaked me out enough to put up with the fight. But the joke was on me because when he would wake at nights screaming and not willing to go back down, for my own sanity, I caved in and got him back to sleep by snuggling in bed with him. Then the epiphany happened; what's good for one family isn't good for all.  So we packed up the crib and discovered more play space and now almost a week into it are sleeping through the night, that is until last night when he started teething again, humph...

Since we live in a 2 bedroom and have my parents stay with us often, an extra bed was needed, so we went on the search of something functional but yet compact. Eureka, we found the Ikea Hemnes daybed (trundle) that has an awesome amount of storage and meets our sleeping needs to a "t". It's an affordable investment and equally a beautiful piece. We even bought two Ikea foam mattresses that stack and are light weight. Now that he's sleeping in the twin, we bring the second mattress on the ground in case he rolls out. I know you're thinking that's what bed rails are for, but I just couldn't bring myself to pay for what pillows, blankets and the spare mattress can do.

Now about the bitter part, we made the investment in this amazing Stokke Sleepi Crib system. It's a crib, toddler bed, junior bed and even can be broken down into two chairs. But what we couldn't imagine was that our little guy would want to be out of his jail cell so soon. We even tried to coerce him in just playing in the junior bed, yeah right! My kid is smarter than me. So now that our baby is sleeping in a big boy bed that isn't the "convertible" crib I feel "had". Maybe the excitement of having a luxury all-in-one was to good to be true after all. But the truth is, this bed was really a great buy, its function and design as a crib really achieved so much of what we needed in our small space. (Here's me blogging about it).  I'm just sad to not see it morph into its other stages.

Tell me about your transitioning stories. Are you ready to move your babe into the big bed or are you holding out? Have some funny stories to share? Would love to hear about them.

Love Lots,
Mommy SF

A Vacation for Us from Us

When my husband told me his work was sending him to Miami for an awards ceremony, I called my mom not only to share the exciting news but to ask if she would watch Edward. Of course she gleefully obliged and I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. To be able to getaway from our one year old for some rnr together was awesome and knowing he would be safe was reassuring.

We extended our trip to round out a week in Miami and it was a great decision, koudos to hubby for winning the trip and recommending the extension. While away we woke at our leisure, ate when we were ready, listened to some great music, did lots of yoga, rode bikes around South Beach and read a lot on the beach. I even bought myself a Kindle (I'm hoping it was a good purchase and not just a very expensive book).

All this time to myself reminded me of the days of old' when I relished in "me" time. I made a promise that when I returned home I would consciously schedule some time alone with me. So far we've been back 2 weeks and I've lived up to my end of the bargain. I feel refreshed and balanced, allowing me to give more to my family.

While I was pregnant moms would always share "sleep as much as you can", "go on as many dates" and the infamous "enjoy this time while you can".  Looking back they were all right, but when you don't have a child you don't really understand how precious that time is.  Now when it's my turn to give moms-to-be advice, I always tell them that they'll need to find time for themselves. After all the hard work of raising a child, mom needs more than a break every now and then!

Do you feel like you get enough "me" time? If so, how do you spend that time?

Love lots,
Mommy SF

Give Me the Sun

It's been such a mild winter here in SF. I'm waiting for the cold but in the meantime we've been out discovering cool and fun parks. Although we haven't ventured to far from home we've found our gem, Alta Plaza.

The 365 view there is outstanding. I love looking across to the golden gate bridge then over to downtown and into the Sunset. The park itself offers so much. But we go for the playground.

It's fenced in which is a plus, has new equipment, and such an array of fun Jungle gyms for all ages. And most importantly wears Edward out! Parking is easy but the bus lines are limited. A close walk over to Fillmore for mom while babes nap is a rewarding bonus.

Our second favorite park is the Koret Children's playground in Golden Gate park. I call it the mansion of the playgrounds. Can it get any better than being in the middle of an awesome park, with a carousel (1 of 2 in the City) and a food stand or WholeFoods a hip hop jump away? Well here's the thing, it's not fenced in, the carousel isn't always open and neither is the food stand. So you wander over to Whole Foods but have to cross several large and loud groups of squatters who have their non-neutered dogs off leash and are intimidating. Although they seem to ignore us, them being there is enough to keep me away at least while by myself. They wouldn't have kept me away pre-baby but now I need to fend for 2 so it's different.

But most often you'll find us at Moscone, our neighborhood park. We love it very much and it offers a safe place for baby, which ideally is all we need.

I would love to hear about your favorite playground or fun place.

Love Lots,
Mommy SF


















,

Happy 1st Birthday Edward!

12 months ago I went into labor, that day feels like so long ago. But as I think about it and stare at my sofa where I laid going through my painful contractions, it feels like yesterday. The rain also brings me back to the memories of that day; 15 hours of breathing, sighing, jokes and pushing, came my darling little bundle of joy! We starred at each other for a few minutes before he began suckling on my breast trying to find some nourishment. I looked down in awe, really thinking, "how did this come out of my body." The miracle of life is just that, a miracle.

Then I think about the next few months that followed. The long nights, tiring days of it never feeling like it will be back to normal. But once that passed and we were on a "schedule", life was better. Sleep was part of  the entire household's routine, it was sweet. Then we entered another phase almost as challenging as the first and then another and by then we stopped comparing or counting. Each stage seemed like such a long and torturous battle; him versus us but no one ever seemed to win. Once we became mobile, life changed again, our home is a shuffled mess. Not once again will I (or anyone else) find my kitchen clean and pristine or my dinning room table cleared of clutter. Our living room looks like we're ready to move, half of our precious belongings have made their way into storage, a safe haven for them and from baby. Once Christmas arrived the toys piled high (how can you tell the grandparents and aunties- no gifts please...yea right!) so instead of swimming through them, we try to alternate every week or when we remember and behind our sofa has now become the home of the inventory. When I'm in the thick of it all it's hard to stop and remember that moment of our first embrace, when he lied helpless in my arms, calm and sweet.

See, although I am one of those lucky ones, who conceived on the first try, didn't have crazy mood swings, cravings, nor did I gain lots of weight, I did manage to hatch one of the most vocal, independent, mischievous, curious...and this list goes on...children in the world.  This kid is such a handful that going out to eat for lunch has turned into a stressful chore, so we go early, like 11am early any later we order in or forage the cabinets for food. My boy's like a small puppy who thinks he can take on the big dog at the park. He wants what we have and is not shy about telling us. I sometimes wonder if he's part Pterodactyl. The shrieks out of this kid will deafen me and when we are out, reduces me to feel like he's about to eat me alive.

All this said, I am a big-picture gal and know this too is a phase. I understand that who he is will only blossom into a explorer. Maybe a creator of something great, someone who will challenge life and take it on full force. I imagine him to be marvelous. Because when I see the world through his eyes, I see a vast vortex of space that craves to be filled. When he points to this and makes me repeat it a zillion times I know he just wants to blurt it out..."light". I dig deep for patience, try to get a lot of rest and I remind myself how tough it must be in his shoes. He wants so desperately to talk, he fights with himself and with me to often. We've tried signing but his frustration won't let him excel. I continue to encourage him and try to help him as best as I know. He's like a handful of bubbles that is easy to catch but hard to hold. Of course we will make it through and this too will seem like a faint memory but the pressure of ensuring I have taken all the right  paths is painstaking. As I won't really know until I try then reflect. Trial and error, is the game and we are in the middle of it. We joking laugh and refer to it as troubleshooting, as if it were as easy as solving a computer problem, ha.

In years past, 12 months seems to go by so fast you wonder where the time went but when measuring a year based on a child's life there is so much growth, change and development, it's astonishing. Yes the time has gone quickly but looking at the pictures from birth to 12 months, it blows me away. From helpless newborn to exploring toddler, when in our lives will we experience such growth?


When we celebrate his birthday with balloons, cake and presents it'll be hard for me to hold back the tears when we blow out the candle together and wish to be in that moment forever.

How did you feel when celebrating your baby's first birthday? If you haven't, have you thought about how you'll feel?

Love Lots,
Mommy SF